I really don't know what this is, I just feel at a loose end. I'm just lost, I don't want the present and I don't want the future. I just wanna curl up in a ball and hibernate for a while. There are loads of things to look forward to, things to be excited about, but I feel nothing. I'm just deflated and demotivated and meh. I can't be arsed with school or work or friends or anything. I need motivation or everything is just pointless. That's the problem is that everything is for the future, but the future is so far away. But actually it's so close. I can't explain it but I feel like I'm living my life how it is not how I've made it, but then I can control my life so it's all down to me to change.