Are We There Yet

I guess I know how it feels then. Shit. I don't feel heart broken, just broken. Completely like I've just been smashed to pieces. Just embarrassed and upset and hurt and confused. And this is why hopes should never be high, you're either disappointed or you just have everything completely crushed. However nicely you phrase it, it still means the same thing.

Gutted.

Gutted. Seriously there is no other way of describing it. I'm gonna sound like a pathetic over-dramatic twat when I say this. Today I went to the orthodontist hoping to get my braces off. Ok, not really hoping, I was counting on it, I was really excited, I've actually been waiting for this for ages. Anyway I got there and they looked ready to take them off- you know with all the stuff ready and asking about allergies and that. So I lay down on their stupid chair thing and put on their fucking annoying glasses. Just for him to prod around my mouth for a bit and then ask if I'd been wearing my elastics. I have, by the way, ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I told him this, only for him to poke around a bit more then say 'here's some more elastics, the sooner you do it properly the sooner you'll have them off' and hand me another pack.

I was so pissed off, I have seriously been waiting for this day for weeks. I felt like crying but I managed to hold it in on the way to the car, with my dad. Until his stupid comment 'Oh don't worry, you can work in Costa instead of being a vet' This is a tiny comment but considering I have the three science exams this week , that basically decide whether I can apply to be a vet or not, it was a sensitive subject -.- So I just cried, he thought it was his fault of course but he was just 'the straw that broke the camel's back' to use a cheesy phrase. So now I'm here just feeling shit and disappointed and upset and stupid that I'm crying over something so small and now I have to wait 2months to go back. Just GUTTED.

Somedays

I'm having such an FML day. Science all day- it makes me feel stupid, I just don't get half of the stuff we're supposed to get and teacher's frustration doesn't help. I also have a habit of embarrassing myself. In one lesson a guy asked me a question and I went bright red. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way shape or form remotely attracted to him, he's a creep! But just because people were staring at me I suddenly got really embarrassed and went beetroot. The harder I tried to be normal the more fucking red I went -.- I'm going red now just thinking about it, CRINGE. And now he probably thinks I fancy him eve though he's about 2ft tall.I went home for 5 mins after school, made a phone call that lasted 10mins longer than it should have, meaning I practically ran to work, realising half way I didn't have my swimming costume (I work in a swimming pool as a helper and have to wear shorts, a t-shirt and a swimming costume is, of course, an essential -.-) I didn't have time to go back so I rushed there and ran through the park to the pool desperate to be on time, of course they didn't appreciate my efforts. I was then told I could go 5mins early as they didn't need me, sounds nice but I felt so rejected, it pissed me off as I had to just get out te pool and leave in front of everyone. After all this I really wanted a lift home as I was so pissed off, but no, my parents don't answer their phones. I was on the verge of tears after such a shit day when I realised I was walking through the muddiest part of the park that was completely flooded. FML. I just burst int tears, shoved my iPod in and walked home.

Georgina x